Sunday, August 25, 2013

Compare and Contrast

Soooo...yeah.  School starts on Monday

During my short stint as a middle school English teacher, I taught (or attempted to teach) the 7th graders under my tutelage to compare and contrast.   I thought it might be fun (as long as "fun" is loosely defined) to compare and contrast what my mind thinks the weekend before school should look like with how our weekend really looks.  (Those of you who have already packed your bags for your mommy guilt trip can go ahead and put those self-flagellation tools back where they belong.  You'll feel so much better after this.)  
The art doesn't necessarily go with the verbiage. People tell me folks won't read without pictures.

Clothing and Supplies 

In my ideal world, my daughter would have a tidy pile of new school clothes and supplies all ready and waiting for Monday.  She'd have carefully considered, using great fiscal responsibility, mixing and matching and would be able to get 30 outfits from 12 garments.  Her backpack would be organized with her red and blue pens, mechanical pencils and labeled three ring binders.  My clothes would also be ready for work so I can hop out of bed on Monday bright and early, jump on the treadmill, get a little Bible study done, get the girl to school on time and head off to work, punctual, as always.

In my real world, we've been clothes shopping three times, which is 2.5 times more than my limit.  The second time, we were at the mall for SIX HOURS.  She bought 1/2 an outfit. Two weeks ago, I said she should probably order some stuff online.  She didn't.  I have no idea what she's going to wear to school next week.  She doesn't seem too concerned about it, so I'm not either.  She has a backpack because I bought it for her.  We have a bunch of paper left over from last year and some binders someone gave us that didn't sell at our yard sale.  I took all my clothes to the dry cleaner today and forgot to pick them up.  I also have no idea what I'm wearing on Monday.  I'm slightly more concerned about this.  If I'm lucky, I'll get to work sometime before lunch and wearing something that won't get me either arrested or fired.  I've missed so much work lately, I'll have to introduce myself to my boss, so I might get picked up for trespassing first, anyway.

Food and Family
In my made up world, we'd have a homemade meal right about now that is nutritious, full of green stuff, piping hot off the stove and served on gleaming dishes on the freshly polished table adorned with crisp, clean placemats.  We'd chat as we do the dishes together and then play a game for smart people like Scrabble or Yahtzee while we relish some kind of molten brownie something or other.  Shoot, might as well also make myself 30 pounds or 40 pounds thinner while I'm at it.

In my real world, we had to go to a volleyball game in the middle of the day yesterday followed by the school's fall sports recognition event at the high school.  Today, we spent most of the day at a volleyball tournament. I came home to a giant allergy attack.  The house is a wreck.  Spiders have taken over, but the house is too much of a mess to call an exterminator, so we have sticky traps out.  I actually did make two meals last week, which is a recent record.  About the only games we play lately are "Who hid my laundry?" and "duck.  DUCK! SPIDER!!"

Organized Chaos
In the land of unicorns and chupacabra in my head, I'm perfectly organized. Nothing sneaks up on me.  Every school t-shirt is paid for on time.  Every bake sale has a homemade treat.  Every deadline is met. The school schedule, sports schedules, birthday lists and addresses are all properly documented and acknowledged.  The pantry is full. The bills are paid on time, and everything is in its place.

My real life has steadily gotten out of hand in the last couple of years since I started LeissnerArt and then Creative Clearinghouse. I've had to unfollow some artists on Instagram who post these photos of gleaming hardwoods under natural sunlight beaming through spotless windows.  Do they have people who make that happen or did they shovel the chaos outside the frame?  I basically need to start over.  Top to bottom.  Stem to stern. We've been in this house going on seven years.  It's about time for a refresh.  I'm thinking a clean out from the inside out is in order....empty out all the drawers kind of reorganization.  This is just occurring to me as I'm writing this, and I'm getting scared. I might need to be evaluated by a professional.
 ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
So there you have it.  That's real life in Leissner Land.  Yet again, I have a raised the curve.  I guess there is some comfort in that....that compared to me, everyone looks a little better.   I'm good with that.  It's good to have a purpose in life.  I have big plans though.  Next time on the blog, I'll share details about how I'm getting it together.

I'm looking for the perfect planner, getting my lists lined up and making a system to whip this house and my appointment book into shape so that everything finally fits.  When I get rid of the "spent 20 minutes looking for my pants", I'll have more time for the things I really want to do.

May the good Lord bless you today with plenty of time to do the things that make your heart soar....and no spiders.

<3 Lori

PS.  I wrote most of this last night. I got up bright and early this morning and spent a little time cleaning.  There's now one room that is completely clean, top to bottom. It's the guest powder room, and it's about the size of a  small bath mat, but it's clean. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm going to go sit in there.


  1. You make me laugh out loud, Lori! I hope it gives you some comfort to know that you are not in that boat alone. I know you are busy lady, but seriously. You should write a book!

    1. Thank you, Janet. I'll send you a signed copy. :)


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