I was in a beauty pageant.
No. Seriously. I wrote that, and it made me laugh out loud.
I really don't remember how it happened. I must have blacked out or something. I would never have taken a dare like that. There's really no explaining how someone like me ended up on stage, even a tiny one like the one there must have been for the Miss Throckmorton Pageant.
When I was thinking about writing about this, I was so thankful that I don't think there remains any historical documentation of this event. It went like this, "Dear Lord, thank you so much that there was no YouTube in 1983."
I sang a version, although perhaps not recognizable, of this song:
See...in the tiny school I went to, there was no band or choir. We barely had enough kids for a six man football team, six cheerleaders and a sad troupe of a pep squad. I learned to sing in church....the Church of Christ ....where there are no musical instruments. We sing a cappella. When we went to practice with the piano lady, she basically ended up saying, "Just sing, and I'll try to keep up with you."
For the love of all things holy....
That pretty much tells the story of my one and only pageant experience. I think there was also a group makeup lesson, a homemade dress, a crazy bad "sporty" ensemble (you mean that doesn't mean a basketball uniform?), but I've blocked out most of the rest of it.
Dear Lord, thank you so very very very very much for the blessing of no cell phones, no YouTube, no twitter, no instagram, no blogger and no otherwise wireless or digital recording devices in 1983. In Jesus' name. Amen.